As parents, it can sometimes be a challenge to teach our children about boundaries. In their world, the world is all about them so teaching our kids how to respect “the rules” and another person is vitally important. Teaching our children about boundaries is not only healthy, but will help set them up for success in relationships throughout their lifetime.
Below are some ideas in encouraging the learning of boundaries for kids:
1) Model healthy boundaries. Children learn more by what we DO than what we tell them to do. Act responsibly, ethically, and FOLLOW THE RULES throughout your own life in just the same way you would like your children to.
2) Make the rules you expect your children to follow clear and concise. Healthy boundaries for kids are dependent on this very step. If children are not sure of the rules and the standards of behavior that are expected, they’ll have a difficult time learning about boundaries! Sit down and have a clear conversation with your children on exactly what you expect of them. It helps, especially with younger children, to have those rules clearly posted in a visible place where they can be reminded of them on a daily basis.
3) Make sure your children are aware of the consequences that will take place should they break a family rule. Just as healthy boundaries for kids is dependent on children understanding the “rules”, it is just as important that they understand what will happen IF they decide to break a rule. When choosing a consequence for a behavior, make sure it is age appropriate AND appropriate for the offense, as well.
4) Be consistent and follow through with your expectations and consequences. If you decide a rule stands, it stands. You must, each and every time, mean what you say and say what you mean if you want your children to take you seriously. Your child must know that if they break a rule, the consequence WILL be enforced. Not all the whining in the world will change it!
5) Boundaries are dynamic and grow as the child grows. A long-standing family rule may need to evolve as your children grow and develop. For example: The standing family rule has always been that your child must hold your hand when they cross the street. That rule has always been enforced and worked great but now your child is 8. It’s time for that rule to evolve and allow your child some independence!
It is our responsibility as parents to set boundaries for kids that are age-appropriate and appropriate for each personality and family lifestyle. Children thrive and feel secure when there are clear expectations and consequences if those expectations are defied. It will take a lot of time and effort, but remember that the children you are molding will be tomorrow’s leaders. Teach your children to respect authority, treat others with kindness, and to respect another’s boundaries and you’ll have an adult who can change the world in wonderful ways!
Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=374362&ca=Parenting
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