Reverse Psychology in Parenting By Emily Watson

Most parents are familiar with the concept of reverse psychology in parenting. After all, this is a form of discipline that is used very often when other methods of controlling bad or disobedient behavior in children fail. Can parents be really criticized or blamed for adopting a method that is not strictly appropriate? Not really, when you consider the vast amount of difficulties they have to encounter when enforcing discipline.

Just visualize this scenario. You are exhausted from your office work, but somehow manage to reach home and prepare a nutritious meal for your child, only to have him or her reject it outright and ask for the junk food that you are trying so hard to get off his menu. After this, you try to get your child to take his nighttime shower, again to have him throw tantrums that you are just too tired to tolerate. This is not really the time when you pause to consider the correctness of your disciplinary measures and reverting to a dose of reverse psychology parenting comes very easy.

However, not many parents, including you, are aware of the implications of using reverse psychology while parenting. What most of us do not realize is that using this technique is an indirect way of challenging your child and his or her ability to perform a particular task. Let me give a simple example that will illustrate my point. When your child refuses to eat a plate of sandwich that you set out for him, you become frustrated and blurt out something like- ‘I bet that you can’t have that sandwich in ten minutes like John (your neighbor’s child) can.’ You think that hurting his ego will get the desired results and to some extent, it does. The problem occurs when you start resorting to this strategy very frequently.

Some clarity as to the definition of this term is needed here, though. Motivating your child to perform certain actions should not come under the head of ‘reverse psychology in parenting’. For example, if your child is exhibiting a particularly lazy streak by refusing to help you with simple household chores, you might say something like –‘Let us see whether you can peel these potatoes as fast as I can.’ Here, you are trying to infuse an element of fun into the proceedings so that your child can effectively shake off his lethargy.

Similarly, warning your child of the dire consequences of performing rash actions should not be mistaken for reverse psychology. There are times when children get impatient to do what they want and instilling a sense of caution to prevent possible accidents is extremely necessary and you need have no qualms while doing so. All you need to be careful about is damaging the ego of your child in a bid to make him or her behave in socially accepted ways, as this is what reverse psychology is all about.

To put it blatantly, even though this might provide short term relief and satisfaction, as a long term measure, it will prove completely ineffective. Some of the possible side effects of reverse psychology in parenting are that you might end up alienating your child. There are so many cases of children looking upon their parents as task-masters and exhibiting negative and rebellious streaks as a way to cope with these perceived traits in their parents. To make it even worse, your child might lose confidence in his ability to perform tasks and may end up with a low self-esteem, which is the last thing you want.

Do not panic! I am not trying to generalize here and conclude that every instance of reverse psychology in parenting will lead to these kinds of horrors that you do not even want to contemplate. All I am trying to say is that like many other tactics, this is one that you want to use with a lot of deliberation and tact. Never use this in a reactive mode, but only in a well-planned and subtle manner. Most importantly, never let every incident of recalcitrant behavior from your child lead to a camouflaged threat on your side, which is what reverse psychology in parenting usually boils down to.

So, what is the best way to use this formula as a parent? Well, to begin with make sure that you try and discipline your child using the conventional techniques first. Time-outs, reasoning with your child, using logical consequences etc. should be attempted before you get down to the use of reverse psychology in parenting. This again does not mean that every time the traditional methods fail, you use reverse psychology as the last straw.
The whole point of this technique is that you use it sparingly and wisely. Make sure that your behavior is not perceived as ‘manipulative’ by your child.

By indulging in reverse psychology at the drop of a hat, you are giving out the impression of losing control with very slight provocation and letting a sense of negativity creep into the entire parenting experience. And even though parenting can be very difficult sometimes, you do not want to wallow in guilt for the personality disorders of your child in his later life, do you? Ok, so are you wondering what the best way to replace this strategy is when all other methods fail you?

Well, what you could to is to make use of another form of reverse psychology that is not at all debilitating in nature. For instance, if your young child refuses to eat as he or she is engrossed in watching television, you could signal that it is bedtime since dinnertime has been dispensed with’. This will spur some positive action from your child who is yearning to have more television time on his schedule. Many children refuse food but are not at all averse to having their favorite dessert. At this point, if you could set a rule that dessert will be provided only after the actual meal, you will get better results. By doing this, you are presenting them with choices rather than attacking their sense of self-worth.

Even if your child does not accept these measures very gracefully in the initial stages, it won’t lead to any permanent harm and in due course, the understanding of why these rules are enforced will be gained. The whole idea about parenting is to be creative in your approach and come up with new ideas that do not disintegrate the beautiful parent-child relationship. At times, you as a parent can also be a bit flexible, especially when it comes to issues that are relatively negligible. By trying out different things, you can gradually get your child to co-operate in things that really matter and completely do away with reverse psychology in parenting.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=374856&ca=Parenting

Encourage Creativity Development in Children By Emily Watson

The art of creativity is vital in the development of children. Yes it is fun for children, but it also helps them to develop a variety of ideas and concepts about the world around them. The act of creativity helps all children communicate their inner thoughts and feelings by expressing these thoughts and emotions in visual and auditory ways.

Creativity can be engaged in a variety of ways. Children love to sing, create, move, and think is new and inventive ways and it is our job as parents and educators to help encourage the many expressions of creativity.

Benefits of Creativity Development

Creativity encourages a child to express him or herself and to understand the freedom involved in committing to a project they are in the process of creating. Creativity development provides a child a sense of ownership in their creation and fosters mental growth by encouraging the child to try new things, new ideas, new ways of thinking, and problem solving. As a child creates, it gives us the opportunity to celebrate the child’s uniqueness and sense of self.

Way to Encourage Creativity

It is not hard at all to encourage creativity in our children. With a little planning, thought, and a fun spirit, you can help blossom your child’s creativity and help them enter a world of unique expression and FUN!

Encourage Creativity Tip #1: Schedule it!

Set aside time each and every day for some sort of creative expression for your child. Let’s face it: life is busy with children and unless we make a conscience effort to do something, it may never get done! Put together a schedule where you can see it everyday and make sure your child is engaging in a creative activity each day.

Encourage Creativity Tip #2: Plan it!

Really work on providing one scheduled creative activity each day. There are hundreds of books out there that provide ideas for art projects and other creative activities for children that you can pull from. I have a book that provides all sorts of ideas for toys to make from items found around the home. Each night, I look forward to curling up with this little book and choosing a fun activity my children and I will enjoy together the next day.

Encourage Creativity Tip #3: Need some ideas?

First, take into consideration your child; their age, attention span, likes, dislikes, personality, etc. Tailor your scheduled activities around your child interests and you can’t go wrong! Some ideas my children enjoy are: playing dress-up, Playdoh, building blocks, coloring, pudding painting, finger paints, dancing to fun music, creating music with household items.

Encourage Creativity Tip #4: Join in!

It is rather easy and FUN to encourage creativity in children. What is fun as adults is to relax our own mind and enter the world of our child and see how their mind creates and perceives the world around them. It’s not hard to get your child excited about a variety of activities, especially when you’ve channeled your silly side and joined in on the fun!

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=374377&ca=Parenting

The Nutritious Kitchen: Healthy Recipes For Kids By Emily Watson

In the hussle and bussle of today’s world, finding and preparing easy and healthy recipes for kids can be a struggle! And then when you find them, there is so much that can goes into them: planning the menu, making the grocery list, driving to the store, doing the shopping, checking out in the long line, paying the bill, and driving home not to mention preparing the meal and sitting down to feast on your hard work.

Without missing a beat, the inevitable always seems to happen…the complaints.

“I don’t like this”.
“This looks weird”.
“I don’t like this color.”
“I want pizza!”
“Can I have a cookie instead?”

Nutrition plays a vital role in our children’s development, and we know this. But how easy is it to just grab a frozen pizza and call it a day! While tempting as it sounds, it’s our responsibility as parents to find healthy recipes for kids that can be prepared and enjoyed at the family table.

Below are a few healthy recipes for kids that have been a hit at my own family table. But before I get to them, let’s first discuss some tips on helping us plan some healthy recipes for kids and ways to get our kids excited for them!

1) Make a quick list of the foods your children love, hate, and are allergic to. With this in mind, it will be easy to pinpoint the recipes you’re targeting and onto the healthy recipes for kids your family will love.

2) When kids are invested in a project, they are more readily accepting. Find healthy recipes for kids that your family can contribute to. For example, get your kids involved in the selection of the recipes, let them help with the shopping, or get the kids help in preparing the meal and setting the table.

3) Select one new vegetable, fruit, or food to try each week. Make it a game with your kids. They may love it or hate it, but it will teach them to be open to new foods and experiences at the table.

With these tips in mind, here are a few healthy recipes for kids that have been a hit with my own. Give them a try and see if this could be a meal your family will love!

Healthy Recipes for Kids #1: Oven-Baked Carrot Fries

My kids love these healthy fries!

Oven-Baked Carrot Fries

1 ½ lbs. Carrots
1 tsp. Sugar
2 T Olive Oil
½ tsp. Salt
2 T Fresh Rosemary, finely chopped
Pinch of Pepper

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees and line a shallow pan with foil. Peel each carrot and cut off the tip and the end off of each one. Cut carrots in half cross-wise, then cut length-wise, then cut length-wise again.
Combine the carrot sticks, olive oil, salt, pepper, and rosemary and stir until they are evenly coated. Spread the carrots over the pan as much as possible.
Bake your carrots for about 20 minutes or until carrots are tender. Serve them hot or cool them a bit to room temperature.

Healthy Recipes for Kids #2: Chicken Tortilla Soup

This is a family favorite and is easy on Mom and Dad in both the prep and the clean-up!

Chicken Tortilla Soup

½ Onion, chopped
½ tsp. Garlic, minced
4 tsp. Cilantro, chopped
1 T Butter
30 oz. Chicken Stock
8 oz. can Tomato Sauce
½ package of Taco Seasoning
14 oz. can Mexican Style or Plain Stewed Tomatoes
4 ½ oz. can Diced Green Chilis
1 small can of Corn, drained
1T Worchestire Sauce
4 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (these can be frozen)

Put all the ingredients into a Crock Pot and cook on low for 8 hours. A half an hour prior to serving, pull out the chicken and shred. Put the chicken back into the soup and cook the remainder of the time (half an hour).

Serve with cheese, tortilla chips, avocado, and sour cream.

Healthy Recipes for Kids #3: Baked Spaghetti

Baked Spaghetti

1 lb. lean Ground Beef
10 oz. Whole Wheat Spaghetti
2 C Mozzarella Cheese, shredded
2 26 oz. jars of your favorite Spaghetti Sauce (make sure your sauce contains healthy ingredients and no sugars)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and spray a 9 x 13 pan with cooking spray.

In a large skillet over medium heat, brown the ground beef, drain and mix in your spaghetti sauce to the ground beef.

Prepare your pasta according to the packaged directions and drain.

Spoon one-third of your spaghetti sauce mixture into the bottom of your prepared pan and then mix the remaining spaghetti sauce mixture with the cooked spaghetti. Pour into the prepared pan and then top with the shredded cheese.
Bake for 25-35 minutes until brown and bubbly. Let baked spaghetti rest for about 10-15 minutes before serving. Serve with a healthy salad and garlic bread. Enjoy!

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=374031&ca=Parenting

Helping to Set Boundaries For Kids By Emily Watson

As parents, it can sometimes be a challenge to teach our children about boundaries. In their world, the world is all about them so teaching our kids how to respect “the rules” and another person is vitally important. Teaching our children about boundaries is not only healthy, but will help set them up for success in relationships throughout their lifetime.

Below are some ideas in encouraging the learning of boundaries for kids:

1) Model healthy boundaries. Children learn more by what we DO than what we tell them to do. Act responsibly, ethically, and FOLLOW THE RULES throughout your own life in just the same way you would like your children to.

2) Make the rules you expect your children to follow clear and concise. Healthy boundaries for kids are dependent on this very step. If children are not sure of the rules and the standards of behavior that are expected, they’ll have a difficult time learning about boundaries! Sit down and have a clear conversation with your children on exactly what you expect of them. It helps, especially with younger children, to have those rules clearly posted in a visible place where they can be reminded of them on a daily basis.

3) Make sure your children are aware of the consequences that will take place should they break a family rule. Just as healthy boundaries for kids is dependent on children understanding the “rules”, it is just as important that they understand what will happen IF they decide to break a rule. When choosing a consequence for a behavior, make sure it is age appropriate AND appropriate for the offense, as well.

4) Be consistent and follow through with your expectations and consequences. If you decide a rule stands, it stands. You must, each and every time, mean what you say and say what you mean if you want your children to take you seriously. Your child must know that if they break a rule, the consequence WILL be enforced. Not all the whining in the world will change it!

5) Boundaries are dynamic and grow as the child grows. A long-standing family rule may need to evolve as your children grow and develop. For example: The standing family rule has always been that your child must hold your hand when they cross the street. That rule has always been enforced and worked great but now your child is 8. It’s time for that rule to evolve and allow your child some independence!

It is our responsibility as parents to set boundaries for kids that are age-appropriate and appropriate for each personality and family lifestyle. Children thrive and feel secure when there are clear expectations and consequences if those expectations are defied. It will take a lot of time and effort, but remember that the children you are molding will be tomorrow’s leaders. Teach your children to respect authority, treat others with kindness, and to respect another’s boundaries and you’ll have an adult who can change the world in wonderful ways!

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=374362&ca=Parenting